Did you hear
about the woman in the choir that was hit in the head with a hymnal that was
thrown from the congregation? She said, "Throw another one, I can still
hear the preacher!"
The Lighter Side
church members does it take to change a light bulb?
"Change? What do you mean change?
My grandmother gave the church that light bulb!"
How many nursery
workers does it take to change a light bulb?
"They don't change anything.
They wait for the parents to come by after church!"
How many singers does
it take to change a light bulb?
"Only one, but she'll need six weeks preparation and will get upset if you don't put her name in the bulletin."
Then on the other
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Who knows! They're standing in the dark arguing whether the light bulb exists or not!
Every time the man next
door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow
"He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this."
"Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began.
"Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look. "But the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day."
"In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?" - Golf Digest
The Gravestone Message
caption was found written on a gravestone...
"As I am now, you soon shall be,
So be content to follow me."
Then someone taped the following note on that gravestone...
"To follow you I'm not content,
until I know which way you went!"
You Might Be A Preacher If...
Farmer's Weather Vane
An old farmer was sitting on his
porch, holding a small piece of rope. His guest, a city man, asked, "What's
the rope for?"
The farmer said, "It's my weather vane."
"How can you tell weather with that thing?" asked the city man.
"When it goes from side to side, it's windy. When it's wet, it's raining."